Minnesota Department of Homeland Security at alert level brown after Mad Crapper attack

Charged with preventing terrorist attacks, responding to natural disasters and planning emergency management for pandemic diseases, the Minnesota Department of Homeland Security and Emergency Management mirrors the responsibilities of the much discussed United States Department of Homeland Security and the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Last Friday afternoon, someone walked into Minnesota’s homeland security offices and took a dump.

According to the Pioneer Press, at around 1:30 p.m. someone described as “homeless” walked through an emergency exit and defecated in several rooms.

If DHS can’t secure its own home base in broad daylight, then we are in a shitload of trouble.