Is it just us, or is time folding in on itself? It feels like November outside. The “Don’t Tase me, bro” video somehow reappeared to fight a water buffalo in a YouTube contest. And then days later, as if punctuating the annoying “bro” resurgence with a Tase of its own on all of us, Kiplinger reported in an article called (literally) “A Stunning Opportunity” that Taser sales will likely jump 50 percent this year as “Tasers penetrate untapped markets here and abroad.” Startling indeed!

But we’re here to give you the zinc lining in the dark clouds. A high-ball for a week of low balls. It’s time for Friday Financials!

  • PMI Mortgage Insurance Co. released its Spring 2008 Market Risk Index study on Thursday, and the Twin Cities were ranked No. 4 on the risky home-price index (though we’re actually at number 22 on the list of 50). The metro area has a 16 percent likelihood that home prices will further decline over the next two years. Detroit fell just below the Twin Cities with a risk-factor of 15 percent. The good news? We’re still not Detroit.

  • Wanna buy a home? Start saving. The subprime fallout means the days of no-money-down mortgages are all dried up. On average, home buyers will need at the very least 3 percent down and an average credit score of 680 to get into a home. For Minneapolis, that means the 30,532 homes for sale are likely to stay empty even longer. The good news? If you aren’t lucky enough to have about $6,000 put away for a down payment, more rental properties are opening up in the Twin Cities. But a two bedroom will run you about $1,000 a month.
  • With oil at record prices, driving the average car eats up about 54 cents a mile, according to a new report by AAA. 
    In the Twin Cities, the average length of a one-way vehicle trip is 7.9 miles, or $3.95. So we’re coughing up $8 a day for a round-trip work commute, and we’re spending an average of 47 minutes in our cars just to get there and back? It’s time to ask the bosses for a gas raise. Or think about stating that at-home envelope-stuffing business. The good news? May 18 is bike to work day. Let’s hope November will have passed by then.