Today’s special edition of Friday Financials comes to you on Saturday. Yes, we’re a day late and a dollar short, so to speak. And a dollar can’t buy you anything these days. That’s why this very special episode is an all-thieving edition. Nothing is safe these days. Not even your kids’ bats.

Take cover. It’s Friday Financials!  Gas, light poles, and manholes. Oh, my!

  • With gas prices hitting nearly $4 a gallon, gasoline thieves are on the rise, and their skills are apparently evolving. Yes, gas stealing is the new stick it to the man, or more accurately, stick it to the gas station owner who is making only about 16 cents per gallon of gas sold. The good news? Someone besides the major oil refineries is starting to see a profit. Thanks to the high gas prices, the makers of locking gas caps have seen their sales go through the roof.
  • And in more Depression-era crime news: As the economy goes into the crapper and the price of scrap metal rises, so do crimes involving scrap-metal theft. Earlier this week a pair was arrested in New York state for sawing through light poles to obtain about $140 worth of aluminum. The good news? It’s not as bad as the new-wave crimes in Phoenix. There, folks are are so desperate for cash they’ve stolen 139 metal manhole covers since February.
  • Perhaps the new taxpayer-funded Twins stadium should stay away from aluminum bleachers. With high schools being targeted for their bleachers, major stadiums would be major scores. The good news? It’s baseball season, so consider this “good news” a gentle warning, Little Leaguers. Aluminum scrap is about 80 cents a pound. You can spend all summer locking up your aluminum bats. Or you can get in on the trade now and exchange them for a couple of cans of Red Bull and a bag of Cheetos. Happy eating!