Remember the Hamster Dance? The only redeeming thing about that awful web hit was that it became an actual album misspelled as Hampster Dance, a somehow acceptable dumbing down of culture far more hilarious and oodles more collectible than Fergie’s Dutchess album. (Get it? There’s no “t” in “duchess.”)

Americans love a good dance, whether it’s babies, hamsters, or presidential candidates getting their lip-biting groove on. And just as the candidates’ handwriting speaks volumes about who they are, dance moves scream tomes. So what do these dancing videos say? For starters, Clinton and Obama are dad-in-white-knee-socks embarrassing. John McCain does the dance of the dead. And presidential candidates ain’t got no soul.