Faking it: What would John McCain and Katherine Kersten do?

First there was the fake Steve Jobs. Then came the fake Par Ridder. But before that was my all-time favorite Twitterer, the not Stephen Wright, whose wry, pithy one-liners are perfect for a super-mini-blog format that requires 140 characters or less. Sample Wright tweet: " I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time.’ So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance." (ba-dum-bum!)

Now it seems everyone is faking it on Twitter. There’s a fake George Bush. (He’s happy about global warming because it means longer summers. Duh!) A fake Dick Cheney, who recently bought a baboon’s heart on eBay in case his own ticker implodes. And a fake Larry King, who tries to throw in at least one "folks" and "gang" in every short tweet.

But our favorite fakes on Twitter have to be the fake John McCain, the fake Cindy McCain and the fake Young John McCain. They somehow are engaged in an insular dialogue with one another about the impending dissolution of Young McCain’s marriage. Example: The Young John McCain asks the Fake Cindy McCain who the hell she is, to which she tweets back, "I’m the woman you leave your wife for, stupid. You just haven’t met me yet." Whoa, dude! It’s a little bit of the real past meets the fake future in an imaginary present world of pretend communication! Far out!

What would the fake Katherine Kersten have to say about this illicit online flirtation and sexual innuendo between the fake McCains? She’d want to teach those fake McCains some good ol’ fashioned manners and family values over lunch with the Book of Virtues. And you can forget the wooing, Young McCain, because she most definitely will not be sipping merlot with her canned tuna on wheat toast.