Quotes of the year: From slit wrists to www.anybody.com

Clockwise from top left: Michele Bachmann, Jim Hagedorn, Lynne Torgerson, Al Franken, Bradlee Dean, Tony Sertich

From U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann famously urging fellow conservatives to “slit our wrists” in opposition to health care reform to state Rep. Tony Sertich warning about “www.anybody.com” running wild at the Capitol, you have the Minnesota Independent to thank — or blame — for foisting these quotations on the world this year.

Our favorite ten quotes from 2009:

“What we have to do today is make a covenant, to slit our wrists, be blood brothers on this thing. This will not pass. We will do whatever it takes to make sure this doesn’t pass.”

– Michele Bachmann, member of Congress from Minnesota’s Sixth District, speaking to conservatives in Colorado

“The fruit of morality is Jesus Christ! That’s why we do high school assemblies.”

– Bradlee Dean, founder of You Can Run But You Cannot Hide International, purveyor of punk-rock assemblies to public schools

“If it’s somebody who designs their own Web site and comes down to the Capitol … we could be deluged with www.anybody.com walking through the door saying, ‘I’m the online media, let me have floor access.’ You think the House chamber is a ruckus … now, wait till all the bloggers get here and show up en masse.”

– Tony Sertich, majority leader, Minnesota House of Representatives, on floor-access restrictions for online media

“Until Paul Wellstone’s plane crash, DFL Trotskyites were confident the Senator would soar to victory over Norm Coleman … [emphasis his]”

– Jim Hagedorn, Republican candidate for Congress in Minnesota’s First District, in one of the quips scrubbed from his “Mr. Conservative” blog

“Keith Ellison simply is not a proper person to have in our federal government.”

– Lynne Torgerson, independent candidate for Congress in Minnesota’s Fifth District, on her campaign website

“We will be seated. And by ‘we,’ I mean me.”

– Al Franken, addressing young DFLers during the election-contest phase of his recount battle with former U.S. Sen. Norm Coleman

“I loathe, hate, despise and detest Franken and all of his supporters. I believe that this so-called hacking is just more dirty tricks by that dirtbag and his pals.”

– Gary Govro, one of the donors whose personal financial information was left unsecured at Coleman’s campaign website

“Complete and utter bullshit.”

– Bruce Schneier, technology expert, on the claim that Coleman’s online database breach didn’t compromise donors’ information

“When I think of Sarah I think of eagles.”

– Man waiting outside Mall of America book-signing event, holding photos he intended to give to Sarah Palin

“No need to poke me. There’s no need to touch me.”

– Staffer at U.S. Rep. Betty McCollum’s St. Paul office, where opponents of health care reform gathered for an impromptu “town hall” meeting