Not sure if this is what they’re looking for, but I would give up city sewer service not to have to listen to Charles Krauthammer, much less eat with him.

(Actually, with one toilet out of two currently frozen, I’m halfway there.)

The Center’s first foray into the short-essay solicitation asked “members and friends” to respond to the question, “Do you think America remains exceptional among the nations of the world?” That contest “resulted in an excellent package,” according to Center founder and president Mitch Pearlstein.

And if 43 people agreeing that American is indeed exceptional makes an excellent package for Pearlstein, then it surely was.

The winner asserted that “America and its people embody eleven of the twelve points of the Boy Scout Law,” by being trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, brave and clean. America even qualifies as “reverent” by Boy Scout standards — (“A Scout is reverent toward God. He is faithful in his religious duties. He respects the beliefs of others.”) — but not “thrifty … given our free-spending government.”

For being “intriguing and interesting [and] imaginative,” the essayist will spend one summer night dining with Charles Krauthammer (who according to reports today has a new conservative columnist colleague at the Washington Post: Bill Kristol, late of the New York Times).

“Flailing … stupid … pathetic … ridiculous”

… with Ed Rollins hitting the bailin’-on-McCain-Palin bass note:

“Like Carter … This is going to turn into a landslide.”

Video after the jump.