Al Franken (Photo: Aaron Landry)

**UPDATED**
Minnesota’s interminable U.S. Senate race is finally over. Nearly eight months after election day, the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled today that Democrat Al Franken prevailed by 312 votes over Republican Norm Coleman. The ruling prompted Coleman to finally concede the contest. Gov. Tim Pawlenty announced shortly thereafter that he will sign an election certificate for Franken today.

“Al Franken received the highest number of votes legally cast and is entitled … to receive the certificate of election as United States Senator from the State of Minnesota,” the court concluded.

In plain language, the five-member court meticulously shot down Coleman’s arguments as to why a three-judge panel erred in determining that Franken won the contest. In particular, it found fault with the former senator’s claim that local election officials violated the U.S. Constitution’s Equal Protection Clause by utilizing different standards in determining which absentee ballots should be rejected.

“Coleman neither claims nor produced any evidence that the differing treatment of absentee ballots among jurisdictions during the election was the result of intentional or purposeful discrimination against individuals or classes,” the court noted. “Nor does Coleman claim that the trial court’s February 13 order, establishing certain categories of ballots as not legally cast, was the product of an intent to discriminate against any individual or class.”

The court also rejected Coleman’s contention that he was egregiously harmed by the trial court’s unwillingness to examine some evidence of mishandled ballots.

“We conclude that the trial court ruled correctly that Minnesota law provides no remedy for wrongly accepted absentee ballot return envelopes once those envelopes have been opened and the ballots inside deposited in the ballot box,” the opinion stated.

Shortly after the ruling was released, Coleman called a press conference at his St. Paul home and announced that he had phoned Franken to congratulate him on his victory. “Further litigation damages the unity of our state,” he said.

Coleman’s case from board to panel to Supreme Court

The extraordinarily close election — with roughly 2.4 million ballots cast, and a margin of difference of less than 0.1 percent — dragged on for more than seven months as various election officials and judges sought to determine the accurate winner of the contest. Norm Coleman initially emerged with a precarious 725-vote lead. But even before a mandatory statewide recount began, the Republican’s lead began to wither. The reason? Mistakes made by local officials on election night. For instance, Franken gained 100 votes in Partridge Township when election officials there determined that they’d mistakenly entered the Democrat’s vote tally as 24 on election night instead of 124.

By the time local election officials and campaign volunteers began the tedious, state-mandated process of re-counting every single ballot by hand, Coleman’s lead had shrunk to just 215 votes. That margin continued to dwindle throughout the month-long process, which was overseen by a four-judge panel appointed by Minnesota Secretary of State Mark Ritchie. Finally on Jan. 5, the Statewide Canvassing Board unanimously ruled that Franken had won the contest by 225 votes.

But this would prove to be merely another phase in the contest. Coleman appealed to the state courts, as is his right under Minnesota’s election laws. His primary argument: local election officials used wildly varying standards in determining which absentee ballots were included in the vote tally, a violation of the U.S. Constitution’s Equal Protection Clause.

A three-judge panel, picked by Chief Justice Eric Magnuson, spent seven weeks hearing the case. They reviewed 19,000 pages of legal pleadings, 1,717 individual exhibits and testimony from 142 witnesses before ratifying Franken’s victory. The margin: 312 votes.

Coleman then appealed to the Minnesota Supreme Court. From the outset, legal observers argued that Coleman faced grim odds in seeking to overturn the trial court’s decision.

Today’s ruling ratified that prevailing sentiment. In addition to rejecting Coleman’s arguments with regards to the Equal Protection Clause, the court shot down the Republican’s contention that some ballots were double-counted and that 132 missing Minneapolis ballots were wrongly included in the final vote tally.

“The ballots are missing, but Coleman introduced no evidence of foul play or misconduct, and the election day precinct returns are available to give effect to those votes,” the ruling notes. “We hold that the trial court did not err in ruling that the election day precinct returns for Minneapolis Ward 3, Precinct 1, were properly included in the tally of legally cast votes.”

Coleman faces an uncertain political future. Some have suggested he might be eyeing Pawlenty’s job — a post he unsuccessfully sought in 1998. But the nasty, multimillion-dollar 2008 campaign, followed by the never-ending election contest, has left both Franken and Coleman bruised.

The Supreme Court case was heard by justices Alan Page, Paul Anderson, Helen Meyer, Christopher Dietzen and Lorie Skjervern Gildea. Justices Eric Magnuson and G. Barry Anderson recused themselves from the case because they both served on the Statewide Canvassing Board that initially certified Franken the winner.

Norm Coleman and Al Franken (Photos: WDCpix.com)

Every ballot tells a story. Or maybe it doesn’t.

That’s the debate that attorneys for Al Franken and Norm Coleman grappled with in oral arguments this morning before the Minnesota Supreme Court in the U.S. Senate election contest. Following a seven-week trial — which featured 142 witnesses and roughly 20,000 pages of legal documents — a three-judge panel determined that Franken won the election by 312 votes.

Joe Friedberg, Coleman’s lead attorney, argued today that there were widespread disparities across the state among which absentee ballots were rejected. He wants the case remanded to the three-judge panel so that roughly 4,400 additional absentee ballots can be considered for inclusion in the vote tally. In particular, Friedberg argued that Franken-friendly areas of the state applied a more lenient standard in accepting ballots.

“If people from around the state had all cast their ballots in Minneapolis or Ramsey County, there’d be half as many rejected ballots,” Friedberg said. “That’s what the numbers show.”

But Marc Elias, Franken’s lead recount attorney, countered that some variance in the election system is necessary to allow for efficient and effective elections. He further stated that Coleman had failed to present evidence of specific ballots that were improperly rejected.

“Don’t tell us there are some 4,400,” Elias said. “Tell us which are the ballots.”

Most legal analysts believe that Coleman faces an extremely difficult task in convincing the Supreme Court to overturn the ruling of the panel. Perhaps indicative of that, Friedberg faced persistent interruptions and questioning throughout his arguments.

“I am very bothered by your offer of proof,” Justice Paul Anderson stated at one point, echoing the Franken camp’s assertion. “They’re basically just lists, lists of names.”

Friedberg countered that the trial court failed to allow them to introduce the specific evidence necessary to make their case. “I couldn’t get it in, and I tried to the point where I strained the court’s patience.” he said. “I didn’t want to go any further than that.”

Justice Alan Page questioned whether Coleman had reversed his legal arguments, citing a previous court document in which he’d argued for a strict enforcement of the state’s standards for what absentee ballots should be accepted. “Is that consistent with the argument you make today?” Page asked.

“No sir, it’s not consistent,” Friedberg acknowledged. “When we realized that whether your vote counted depended on where you lived, we changed.”

Elias received slightly more delicate treatment from the justices. He argued that the universe of contested absentee ballots is only about 300 — or slightly less than the lead currently held by Franken.

“It would still be impossible for the appellants to make up the difference,” Elias said. “Al Franken received more lawfully cast ballots on election day than Senator Coleman.”

Justices Christopher Dietzen and Lorie Skjerven Gildea were most vigorous in pressing Elias on the issue of whether illegal ballots had been accepted. In particular, Dietzen queried Franken’s attorney on ballot envelopes that lacked a witness signature. Elias conceded that it’s likely some ballots were improperly counted, but that such judgments can only be made after considering a full history of the ballot.

“We don’t know the story behind that ballot,” he said, noting that there could have been a replacement ballot. “There are reasons why the election officials accepted and rejected ballots.”

Friedberg, however, questioned the narrative value of each individual ballot, arguing that the disparities in the system were systemic. “Every ballot doesn’t tell a story,” he said.

Coleman has vowed to continue pursuing the legal contest and has been egged on by the Republican leadership in Washington. If Franken takes office he would become the 60th Democratic senator, giving President Obama a filibuster-proof majority.

Franken has asked the Supreme Court to order Gov. Tim Pawlenty to issue an election certificate, thus paving the way for him to be seated in Washington. But the Republican Governor has suggested that he might not sign a certificate even if the state’s top court rules in Franken’s favor.

Only five justices are hearing the case. Two justices, Eric Magnuson and G. Barry Anderson, recused themselves owing to their participation in the State Canvassing Board that initially certified Franken the winner back in January. The justices gave no indication when they would rule on the matter.

“We shall take this matter under advisement and an opinion will be forthcoming,” Page said at the close of the hearing.

OpenSecrets.org found that Sotomayor hasn’t made a political donation since joining the federal bench in 1992, while others on Obama’s shortlist — especially those who aren’t judges — made lots of them.

Elena Kagan, for example, gave Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign the maximum allowed: $4,600. She was dean of Harvard Law School before Obama appointed her U.S. Solicitor General this year.

Diane Wood made $1,250 in political donations during the 1992 election cycle, the lion’s share going to Bill Clinton, who appointed her to the federal Court of Appeals in 1995. Wood’s current husband has given $5,000 in the past six years, almost half of that to Obama.

Records of political giving haunt several of Minnesota’s sitting high-court justices. Three of the five Minnesota Supreme Court justices who will hear oral arguments in Coleman v. Franken on Monday have made donations to current or past candidates for the seat that’s in dispute. All gave before they were named to the high court.

Two are from past election cycles: Justice Helen Meyer gave to the late Democratic U.S. Sen. Paul Wellstone’s 2002 re-election campaign, and Justice Lori Gildea donated to Coleman’s unsuccessful 1998 run for governor as a Republican.

Justice Christopher Dietzen gave $250 to the “Coleman for Senator 08” campaign committee in 2004,  11 months before Gov. Tim Pawlenty appointed him to the state Supreme Court.

None of the three has recused himself or herself from judging Coleman’s appeal of the election contest court ruling that showed Franken won the U.S. Senate race by 312 votes.

Chief Justice Eric Magnuson and Associate Justice G. Barry Anderson have not participated in any of the high court’s proceedings or deliberations related to the Senate election. They served on the State Canvassing Board late last year, which found that Franken had won the statewide hand recount of 2.9 million ballots cast.

Franken wants the state’s highest court to affirm the ruling by a three-judge panel that he won the U.S. Senate contest by 312 votes and order that he be issued an election certificate immediately.

“For over four months, the citizens of Minnesota have been represented by only one United States Senator, and the effects of this delay are increasingly significant,” the brief reads.

The issuance of the certificate is key because it would almost certainly allow Franken to take his post in Washington, D.C., while any appeals to the federal courts play out. Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty has equivocated on whether he would sign an election certificate once the state-court process is completed. He told Minnesota Public Radio last month that he would scrutinize the Supreme Court’s ruling and the strength of Coleman’s case before making a decision.

Coleman’s appeal calls on the state’s highest court to remand the case back to the three-judge panel to deal with purported errors in its initial ruling. The former senator’s brief focuses primarily on varying standards utilized by local election officials in determining which absentee ballots would be counted. It argues that the disparate treatment of ballots is a violation of the Constitution’s equal protection clause. Coleman wants at least 1,359 rejected absentee ballots added to the tally. His appeal also argues that 132 ballots that were lost should not be counted and that some ballots were wrongly counted twice.

Franken’s brief concedes that some mistakes were made by local election officials in determining whether to reject an absentee ballot. “There is, however, no evidence that such errors were deliberate or intentional or that they determined the outcome of the 2008 senatorial election,” the brief reads.

The brief also emphasizes the thoroughness of the legal proceedings before the three-judge panel, noting that it heard from 142 witnesses, examined nearly 2,000 exhibits and considered roughly 20,000 pages of legal documents.

“It was their burden to show that Norm Coleman won a majority of the votes,” said Marc Elias, Franken’s lead recount attorney, on a conference call with reporters this afternoon. “He failed to meet that burden and I would say he failed to meet it by a wide margin.”

Elias expressed confidence that Franken will be seated once the state Supreme Court rules. He dismissed recent comments by Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele expressing enthusiastic support for Coleman to continue the legal fight in federal courts. “I don’t follow closely what he has to say about the law in Minnesota,” Elias said of Steele.

Oral arguments before the state Supreme Court are slated for June 1. Only five judges will hear the case. Justices Eric Magnuson and G. Barry Anderson have recused themselves because they served on the State Canvassing Board that certified Franken the victor.

(WDCpix)

Norm Coleman filed his appeal of the U.S. Senate election contest with the Minnesota Supreme Court today, arguing that “widespread disparities” in which absentee ballots were accepted distorted the final vote tally.

“The deliberate and disparate treatment of large numbers of similarly situated voters — who had their votes counted only if they lived in certain jurisdictions — is unacceptable in any election,” the brief notes. “It is especially so in one so close.”

Earlier this month, following a seven-week trial, a three-judge panel determined that Al Franken won the election by 312 votes. Coleman immediately announced that he would appeal the ruling.

The crux of Coleman’s case is whether different standards were applied across the state in deciding which absentee ballots were counted in violation of the Constitution’s equal protection clause.

“Some counties, for example, assiduously researched whether a voter or his witness was registered; others never inquired,” the 62-page brief notes. “Some officials accepted ballots when they could not locate an application; others refused to do so. The result is that whether an absentee ballot was accepted depended on where the voter lived.”

While many legal observers praised the ruling of the three-judge panel that heard the election contest as thorough and well reasoned, Coleman argues that the trio erred in failing to consider evidence of disparate treatment of ballots.

“Had the court not excluded such evidence Coleman would have proven the disparities changed the outcome of the election,” the brief reads.

Coleman contends other errors were made by the panel as well. The appeal argues that the judges failed to order precinct inspections to determine if double-counting of ballots occurred and wrongly included 132 ballots from a Minneapolis precinct that were lost.

The brief, signed by attorney James Langdon, concludes that the case should be remanded back to the trial court to remedy these errors. Specifically, Coleman wants at least 1,359 absentee ballots added to the final tally.

Franken’s reply brief is due May 11, and oral arguments are slated for June 1 before the five justices. Two of the Supreme Court’s justices — Eric Magnuson and G. Barry Anderson — have recused themselves from the current case because they served on the State Canvassing Board that oversaw the recount.

Because of this conflict, Magnuson (pictured) and Anderson have removed themselves from previous hearings before the state’s top court. John Kostouros, Communications Director for the state’s Court Information Office, confirms that they are expected to withdraw from any hearings going forward.

“They’ve indicated from the beginning that they would recuse themselves from any further activity in this one because they served on the panel,” Kostouros says. “They’ve made it clear to me that they intend to stay out of this.”

The absence of Magnuson and Anderson from any appeal deliberations is potentially another blow to Norm Coleman’s (already slim) prospects at prevailing in the state courts. Both justices were appointed by Republican governors.

Following the addition of 351 ballots to the vote tally yesterday, Franken’s lead has grown to 312 votes. The three-judge panel hearing the Senate contest is expected to issue a ruling shortly. Coleman has vowed to appeal the matter to the state Supreme Court.

Attorneys for Norm Coleman and the State of Minnesota countered that state law explicitly provides for an election contest such as is currently underway and that there’s no justification for certifying a winner until that process is completed.

“Minnesota has made a determination that when it comes to the question of who has won it’s important to take the time to get it right,” said James Langdon, representing the Coleman campaign.

“There are legitimate, serious issues to be determined by the contest court and it is in the business of doing so right now.”

The justices seemed skeptical of the Franken campaign’s arguments. They questioned both sides vigorously,  however, often interrupting their arguments.

Justice Christopher Dietzen noted at one point that both campaigns have flip-flopped on which votes should be included in the final tally. “I don’t think the hands are clean or pure on either side of that,” he said.

Elias brought up the ongoing debate over the federal stimulus package to make a case that Minnesota needs to have two senators representing its interests in Washington.

“The perfect cannot be the enemy of the good,” he said. “The nation’s business is going on as we speak. … For want of a vote a stimulus package may be lost.”

The Supreme Court was reduced to just four members for the hearing. Justices Eric Magnuson and G. Barry Anderson have recused themselves from cases involving the U.S. Senate race because they served on the state Canvassing Board, which oversaw the manual recount and certified Franken the winner by 225 votes. Justice Helen Meyer was not present for oral arguments but will participate in the case. There was no indication when the court might rule on the matter.

Related: Unless Franken gets temporary certificate, Senate seat could stay empty 5 months

Al Franken has emerged from the U.S. Senate recount with a 225-vote lead over incumbent Norm Coleman. The five-member State Canvassing Board unanimously certified the results at a hearing Monday afternoon. Roughly two months after the election — and following a painstaking statewide manual recount of nearly 3 million ballots — Franken received 1,212,431 votes, while Coleman was backed by 1,212,206 voters.

While the actions of the canvassing board would seem to suggest that the epic election contest is finally drawing to a close, the Coleman campaign immediately made it clear that they have no intention of conceding defeat. Attorney Tony Trimble announced at a press conference following the canvassing board meeting that they will file a lawsuit contesting the outcome of the contest. The Republican’s campaign believes that various voting improprieties — wrongly rejected absentee ballots, double-counted ballots and lost ballots — have tarnished the recount.

“Since the process is far from complete there can be no confidence in the current results of the United States Senate recount,” Trimble said. “We will file a contest within the next 24 hours to promptly correct those problems.”

The Franken campaign, not surprisingly, hailed the development. “Today is a great day for the people of Minnesota,” lawyer Marc Elias said. “I stand before you proudly as the attorney for the next Senator for the state, Senator-elect Al Franken;”

Franken himself declared victory in front of his Minneapolis condominium this afternoon. Reports out of Washington today suggested that the Senate will attempt to seat him tomorrow with the other freshman legislators. Republicans have vowed to prevent that from happening through a filibuster. In another unwelcome development for Coleman, his office was ordered shut and staff sent home at the direction of the Senate rules committee.

Secretary of State Mark Ritchie and the four other members of the canvassing board expressed satisfaction at the conduct of the state-mandated recount. “I think this recount has proven the wisdom and the strength of that system in an amazing way,” Ritchie said at the close of the meeting. “This didn’t just fall from the sky. People long before us built this system.”

But canvassing board member Eric Magnuson, chief justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court, summed up the continuing ambiguity surrounding the ultimate outcome of the Senate contest. “I don’t think we’ve written the last chapter in this particular election,” he said.

Thanks for the memories. Now please go away. Yes, we’re talking about you, Rudy Giuliani. And you, Wolf Blitzer. We no longer wish to be a swing state. Henceforth the residents of the state of Minnesota promise to vote reliably Democratic. Or Republican. It doesn’t much matter which — just as long as you people promise to stop showing up in our little slice of the frozen tundra seeking to feel our pain. But to memorialize the horrors visited upon us during the (still ongoing) campaign season, we offer — in honor of our favorite member of the Statewide General Election Canvassing Board — the G. Barry Anderson Awards.

Betty McCollum

Personally we thought the Andy Rooney date-rape skit had potential: It’s tough to recall now, but back in June it looked as if Al Franken’s Senate campaign was going to run completely off the rails. Despite two years of suffering through fish fries and potluck suppers in East Jesus Nowhere, his campaign was beset by controversies over improperly paid taxes and past writings. But it wasn’t the inevitable frothing of Minnesota Democrats Exposed that put the Franken campaign at risk of losing the DFL endorsement to a little-known challenger from the Trotskyite wing of the party. Rather it was the attacks from Franken’s fellow Democrats, led by Rep. Betty McCollum, that nearly doomed his candidacy. Her sanctimonious outrage over a (rather dull) Playboy article triggered a cattle call of Democratic politicians expressing faux outrage over Franken’s past writings. The comedian’s possibly pending triumph, however, raises hope for a 2014 Diablo Cody campaign.

T-Paw

He even cut off his hockey mullet, dammit: We really, really thought Gov. Tim Pawlenty was a shoo-in. When GOP muckety-muck Ken Mehlman hosts a Georgetown cocktail-and-mini-wiener gathering in your honor and it’s revealed that First Lady Mary Pawlenty refers to you as “45″ behind closed doors, it’s time to start measuring the curtains for Vice President Dick Cheney’s secret bunker, no? Pawlenty couldn’t have telegraphed his desire for the post any more strongly if he’d offered to take on eBay’s Meg Whitman in a steel-cage match. But when it became clear that Sen. John McCain’s appeal was largely limited to (some) former guests of the Hanoi Hilton and beer-distributorship scions, the drab choice of Pawlenty got scuttled for a moose hunter with a unique ability to arouse the Republican base with just three words: “Drill, baby, drill.” Does M-Paw now cry out “46?”

Xcel Energy Center

Let’s play hockey, please: Barack Obama decided to pee on the ice first. On the night that he finally slew the Pantsuited Beast once and for all, Obama showed up in St. Paul to stir the masses with his magic happy talk. A photo that would become one of the iconic images of the campaign was snapped in an Xcel elevator by Time photographer Callie Shell. It shows Obama, surrounded by his wife and advisers, beaming as if he’d just discovered indoor plumbing. Even better: nobody had time to organize a protest or arm the police with $50 million worth of the latest riot attire.

The Republican National Convention

What a gas: Did anyone other than St. Paul Mayor Chris Coleman, Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak, Gov. Pawlenty and a few other insecure, ambitious politicians have any desire to host this four-day excuse to beat on protesters, arrest reporters, scream epithets at cops and hire really high-priced hookers? Does anyone care about whether the world at large has any clue where St. Paul, Minn., is located on a map and whether people view it as a “first-class” city? Can we please go back to being a Cold Omaha that rich people visit only when their nasal passages can no longer reliably process coke? Nobody was impressed by forced exposure to Minnesota Nice Passive Aggression and the Land of 10,000 Cops in Riot Gear. Anderson Cooper will not be returning this winter to hang out at the St. Paul Curling Club. If “this is what democracy looks like,” as the protesters kept insisting, we don’t want any part of it. To quote Meir Kahane and Kelly Clarkson: “Never Again.”

Palin-tology

Let them eat moose: That damned Katie Couric. She ruined everything. Before Sarah Palin performed her excruciating media belly flop on the “CBS Evening News,” she brought the house down at the RNC in St. Paul. Winking her way through a speech notable for its withering contempt for the Democratic presidential nominee, she had pundits (particularly the male variety) swooning. But even after it became clear that she was about as prepared to take up residence at the White House as your typical TV sports reporter, the GOP faithful were positively loopy for Palin. When she returned to Minnesota for a rally in Blaine (along with the old guy at the top of the ticket) just two weeks later, the delirious Palin-ites nearly filled an airplane hanger. But after it became increasingly clear that McCain had no chance of winning Minnesota, we were stuck with the surrogates. And unfortunately it wasn’t Bristol Palin. Or Levi Johnston. Instead we got the first dude — a man (to put it kindly) not known for his rhetorical gifts. But Minnesotans apparently weren’t offended by this snub. Todd Palin’s whirlwind two-day tour of the state was the biggest thing to hit Grand Rapids since the annual Judy Garland Festival.

The Crazy McCain Lady

Now she would have been a bold VP pick: When McCain arrived in Lakeville for a town-hall meeting in October, we were concerned that Minnesota might not be living up to expectations as a swing state. After all, recent McCain-Palin rallies had featured party faithful so riled up by the red-meat rhetoric that they’d spewed death threats at Obama and gnawed the legs off of anti-war protesters (OK, not really the latter). Were nice Minnesotans psychologically equipped to live up to such demanding standards? But then 75-year-old Gail Quinnell wandered up to the stage and let everyone know that we’re just as loony as the rest of the country. The “Crazy McCain Lady” utilized her moment in the political spotlight to declare Obama an Arab, earning a rebuke from McCain and her own skit on “Saturday Night Live.”

Cullen Sheehan

In October Harper’s Magazine reported allegations that Norm Coleman’s close pal Nasser Kazeminy financed lavish shopping sprees for the senator at Nieman Marcus. The Republican’s campaign initially refused to answer any questions about the controversy, brushing off inquiries from both Harper’s and Pioneer Press reporter Dave Orrick. “There are very awful things that are said about people on the blogs,” Coleman revealed. But it was the senator’s campaign manager, Cullen Sheehan, who really transformed the story into Intertubes gold. At an excruciating state Capitol press conference, he repeatedly refused to disclose whether Coleman had received any free suits from Kazeminy. Instead Sheehan recited this mantra over and and over and over and over again: “The senator has reported every gift he’s ever received.” Of course Suit-gate was soon trumped by Donor-gate, after two lawsuits alleged that Kazeminy attempted to funnel $75,000 to the senator.

Neiman Marcus

We’re pretty sure that was Rod Blagojevich trying on a houndstooth jacket over in aisle three: What other clothing store in the country can claim a place at the center of two different scandals during this election season? Coleman may have been responsible for the first free Neiman Marcus advertisement, but it took Sarah Palin to truly put the retailer in the national spotlight. After she was tapped as the VP nominee, the GOP brass were apparently fearful she might show up at the convention in camo waders and a blaze orange overcoat. So they tapped local Republican pooh-bah Jeff Larson to lead the Alaska governor on a $75,000, donor-financed shopping spree at Neiman Marcus. No word on whether she ran into Norm (or Nasser) while at the Nicollet Mall store.

Sixth Congressional District Voters

They’re not anti-American, but they’re definitely pro-Scandinavia: After the best-dressed homophobe ever to represent Minnesota in Congress spread her magic to the whole wide world via “Hardball,” it looked as though her congressional career might be over after just one term. Money poured in from across the country to support the underdog campaign of Elwyn Tinklenberg, and polls showed the race deadlocked. But the nice, racist Scandinavian voters of the Sixth Congressional District had an election day surprise for the pollsters. They gave Bob Anderson — a candidate who wasn’t endorsed by any political party, wasn’t invited to most debates, and hardly campaigned — 10 percent of the vote, thus ensuring that Michele Bachmann would return to Washington. We can vividly imagine the thought process of Ole and Sven while hovering over the ballot: “Bachmann? Isn’t she the one who wants to start gulags for everyone with un-American thoughts? Tinklenberg? I do kinda have to use the bathroom now that I think about it. Anderson? Well, I betcha he’s an awful nice gentleman. I’m sure he’d do a wonderful job in Washington, just like Coya Knutson.”

The Recount

This is dedicated to Eric Magnuson’s goatee: The fifth pile. The third pile. Wrongly rejected absentee ballots. Allegedly double-counted ballots. The 133 missing ballots. G. Barry Anderson. Marc Elias. Tony Trimble. The Lizard People. Flying Spaghetti Monster. G. Barry Anderson. Minnesotans have been forced to learn an entirely new lexicon and nomenclature to fully follow the U.S. Senate Contest That Refuses to Die. And now it’s clear that no matter how much we repeat the totemic words “G. Barry Anderson” over and over and over again, the recount is destined to drag on well into 2009. Even if we don’t end up in the swamps of south Florida with hanging chads and Cruella Harris haunting our dreams, it’s still been a rather gruesome process to behold. But here’s a simple proposal to bring this mess to an end: a lutefisk-eating contest on the state Capitol steps. The Uptake will carry a live feed. G. Barry Anderson will officiate. Whichever candidate can cram the most lutefisk down his throat in 15 minutes goes to Washington. With one caveat: He can never come back.

As on Friday, five sitting justices grilled campaign attorneys, signaling dissatisfaction with both sides’ positions on a Coleman recount lawsuit. (Two of the seven-member court absented themselves because they’re serving on the State Canvassing Board that the Coleman campaign has been named as a defendant in the duplicates case.)

Roger Magnuson, Coleman’s attorney, asserted there’s evidence of double counting in 25 counties and wants the State Canvassing Board to check it out before certifying the vote. The double counting allegedly happened when voters’ original ballots got separated from the duplicate ballots onto which local election officials transferred the votes when vote-counting machines couldn’t read the original.

“This disenfranchises all the other voters,” Magnuson said, adding that the narrow margin of the race, which now unofficially has Franken at a 47-vote advantage, raises the specter “that the loser is declared the winner.”

Associate Justice Paul Anderson prodded Magnuson on questions of evidence and process. “Isn’t this an evidentiary issue best left for an election contest?” Anderson asked. (Election contests are lawsuits filed after the State Canvassing Board certifies the election results.) He also asked how the electoral emergency that the Coleman side asserts in the lawsuit measures up against the judicial yardstick scenario of a house burning down.

“[There is] enough suspicion, enough evidence,” Magnuson said. “[We're asking for] an extraordinary intervention simply to do the due diligence to settle this matter.”

Magnuson cited comments of concern about the likelihood of double-counted votes that Associate Supreme Court Justice G. Barry Anderson made last week as a member of the State Canvassing Board. (Chief Justice Eric Magnuson was also not present for today’s hearing because, like G. Barry Anderson, he’s on the State Canvassing Board.) Associate Justice Alan Page bristled at that: “Our fellow justices aren’t here and they don’t have to wrestle with this issue like we do.”

One major point of contention was how much work the requested court action would compel on the part of local election officials. Attorney Magnuson said it would be limited to 25 precincts statewide; “They’re cherry picking,” Franken attorney Bill Pentelovich countered. The Coleman camp is trying to rewrite agreed-upon rules for counting duplicate ballots, he said, and to ensure fairness “all 4,001 precincts would have to be recounted.”

Attorney Dan Rogan, speaking on behalf of defendant Hennepin County, said Coleman’s suit was wrong to single out counties at all because the remedy of recounting bypasses county canvassing boards.

Assistant Minneapolis City Attorney Peter Ginder said statements by City Elections Director Cindy Reichert about cases of double-counted votes — which Coleman’s camp frequently cites to buttress its claims — merely represented one of several possible explanations for tabulation discrepancies.

Attorney General Lori Swanson asserted the State Canvassing Board’s duty to sidestep the duplicate ballot question since — despite four of its members being judges — it has no authority to conduct the necessary fact-finding and make judgements based on such evidence.

That wasn’t sufficient, Attorney Magnuson said: “This court ought not to remain passive because this particular issue might determine the election in terms of who’s declared [victor].”

With that the court adjourned, making no immediate ruling from the bench — though a decision could come at any time.