Franken nails Coleman with a road sign. He next pulls out a cheese grater and rubs it across Coleman’s forehead. Suave: “CHEESE GRATER! CHEESE GRATER! COLEMAN IS BADLY BUSTED OPEN!” Franken pulls a ladder from underneath the ring and clock Coleman with it. Franken grabs a garbage can and drops toe holds Coleman onto it. Cover. Two count. Coleman staggers back up and Franken knocks him right back out with a steel chair. Crowd: “HOLY S@#$#… HOLY S@#$#.” Franken puts Coleman on top of the ladder and climbs up on the corner turnbuckle. Franken leaps off the turnbuckle and crushes Coleman on the metal ladder. Crowd: “HOLY S@#$#… HOLY S@#$#.” Franken covers. 1…2…3.

New blow-by-blow reportage today has Norm and Al brawling in the parking lot afterward, with the promise of a grudge rematch set for Nov. 25. And you missed the three-way action involving former U.S. Sen. Dean Barkley that ramped up when Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and SNLster Tina Fey joined the fray.

You could call the writing wrestler porn, but that four-letter word’s already tapped out in this race. The scribes at Political Championship Wrestling prefer to call it PHEW!: Political Hardcore Extreme Wrestling. To get all elitist-high brow on their asses, it reads a bit like an opera libretto that got shredded together with a Wolf Blitzer transcript.